In the spirit of Digger the Nascar gopher, here are more cartoon creations from the talented pen of David Hill, chairman of the Fox Sports Television Group:

-- Snapper, the endangered sea turtle who can work on her tan now that a Mexican developer has paved over her eggs

-- Charo, the puppy-mill Chihuahua who'd love to see her kids end up in Paris Hilton's closet

-- Clucky, the chicken who think small cages are cozy, and doesn't see any real need to stand up

-- Rocky, the raccoon who'd rather live under a Polo Outlet store than in a hollow tree

-- Backstroke, the polar bear who'd rather go swimming than sit around some dull ice floe

-- Honker, the goose who force-feeds himself

-- Cockadoodle, the rooster who says fighting with razor blades attached to his feet keeps him in tip-top shape

-- Antlers, the moose who hates to admit it but those dudes in the helicopter shot him fair and square

-- Barker, the 102nd Dalmatian who spends his spare time turning his legs into lapels

Now that Madonna and Guy are breaking up, all their tawdry laundry is being aired. According to some news reports, for instance, the duo had so many conflicts they not only saw a marriage counselor, they had him write up a contract specifying what behavior was acceptable and what wasn't. Leave it to World Class Stupid to bring you the entire list.

• Both parties agree to rear children based on the timeless writings of whatever cult is fashionable at the time.
  
  
• In the event of an fractious dispute between the two parties, Rosie O'Donnell gets the tiebreaking vote.
  
  
• Both parties will make an effort to feign enthusiasm for the other's interests, whether that be conical bras and Jean-Paul Gaultier or Watney's Pale Ale and heterosexual sex.
  
  
• Both parties agree not to laugh when anyone suggests a film festival of the other's work.
  
  
• Infants must be changed a minimum of six times daily, ten times if they're onstage.
  
  
• Both parties agree to awaken each other with hugs and hearty greetings rather than cries of "Oh, God!" or "Sweetheart, remind who you are again."
  
  
• In public, both parties will speak as if they're British. At home, they're lusty gay Irishmen.
  
  
• When lost in a tsunami of existential despair, both parties will stop and ask themselves: What would Brad and Angelina do?
  
  
• Neither party will lift the other off the ground and say, "You're a cute li'l thing, aincha? 'Ow'd you like to feel me rough workman's hands against yer pretty white skin?" because that always gets Guy mad.
  

(Via Queerty)

Now that our savings are gone and we've lost our jobs, a lot of us find ourselves unable to afford the products we used to buy. Afraid of losing all their customers, some major manufacturers have introduced knockoff brands that are close to the originals but more affordable. Next time you 're at the supermarket and you need to save a buck, keep an eye out for these new products:

Straw Chex

Molden Grahams

Slime Jims

Weedabix

Marshmallow Seeps

I Can't Believe It's Dirt

Snot Pockets

Glop Tarts

V-1

Hostess Ding Dungs

Honey Bunches of Uh-Os